Old Habits

Have you ever realized how easy it is to fall back into old habits?  The thing is that most of these habits were left behind for a reason, they tend to be bad for you.  That is my case, I have this guy in my life, who I swear is the love of my life, and because of that, I have suffered because of him more than I had suffered before in my life.  We (him and I) have this tendency of being hot and heavy for a few weeks and then he slowly gets lost and creates space between us and then disappears, this is when I get sad and pathetic; after a while a begin to be fine and then he reappears and I receive him with open arms.  And then, I fall back into the habit.

Falling back into old habits is easy.  I believe this is because it is known territory and it's comfortable. And although we all know change (as well as shit) happens, we kind of resist to it (at a subconscious level maybe?).  A way to resist to it is by keeping things the same, or going to what we know.  Enter old habits.

Should I consider him an old habit and me receiving him back as me falling back into them or should I blame it on wishful thinking and blind optimism? I am a law student, I have a bachelor's on psychology and I love to argue.  SO I can make a strong case for either one of those options.  I kind of think that it's a gray area and falls somewhere between both options.  I wish and hope that WE will work eventually and because of this I allow things to go the way they do, because that is how I can keep him in my life.

Old is known and known is comfortable as comfortable is easy (even when it's bad for you, cause you kow how to deal with it).

This reminds me of a song by Christina Aguilera...